Thursday, October 28, 2010

My Kids

I was told today that my kids own my heart. I have to say it's true. Despite the obvious day to day frustrations of having two young children, my mind is usually wrapped around my kids. But then, what mother doesn't feel that way?

For those of you who don't know my kids, let me introduce you. First, meet Noah.

Ahhhh, Noah. I call him my angel sent straight down from heaven, by way of Korea. The child is pure joy. He is also determined, head-strong and has a rock-solid will. It isn't any wonder to me that he was born at 27 weeks and not only survived, but flourished. He will not be detered. Noah is full of life, full of love, full of humor and once someone meets him, they don't soon forget him! When he loves, he loves deep and strong. The first moment I saw him in Korea, I was in love with him. He was and is the piece of my heart that I didn't even know was missing until I held him for the first time. After he joined our family, my heart felt whole, complete. I believe that anyone who knows us well, knows that our bond is pretty special.

But I am not the only girl Noah loves. A year ago, at the ripe old age of 2 1/2, Noah met Samantha Jane at school. Samantha, at 18 months old, was a veteran at the preschool (her mom is the director). Since the first day, Samantha took Noah under her wing, mothered him, reassured him and tried to show him that school was fun. Now, it is safe to say, that they love each other. The first thing he asks every morning is, "am I going to see Samantha today?" and the first thing he does when he goes to school is ask, "where is Samantha?". The boy also has her picture framed on his bedside table. Every once in a while, he will look at it and tell her that he loves her "so much".

Her mother and I have discussed sending them to the same elementary school...

My Noah is all boy. He loves hunting, baseball, football, karate and wearing camo. For a while I couldn't get him to wear anything but camo. I even bought him camo underwear and camo shoes. Now, a friend of his wears jerseys everyday, and he is asking for jerseys.... And if you know me, you know that what the boy asks for, the boy gets.....

And then, there is my beautiful, smart, independent, sassy little girl, Sophia.

When Sophia came to us, she was one week shy of 12 months old. She, too, was a scrapper, though for different reasons than Noah. She was tiny: 26 inches tall and 16 pounds, but she was striking.

I always knew I would have Sophia. I wanted an Asian daughter since I was twelve, and I picked her name out sometime in my youth. When I met Brian, I told him that if he wanted to marry me, he would have to agree to adopting a daughter from Asia. Obviously, he did. Adopting her drove me for the first five years of our marriage. I spent hours looking at waiting child websites, completed my degree in social work so that I could work in the adoption field, researched programs and agencies and prayed for God to direct us to our daughter. In September of 2003, I felt that her birth mother was pregnant with her. We submitted our application on January 10, 2004, and she was born February 1, 2004. On December 13, 2004, we saw her picture for the first time.

My heart stood still. So many years of praying and dreaming of her and then finally seeing the child God had planned for us, it was nothing short of a miracle. I loved her instantly, but I always had. When I look at this picture now, I see the very essence of her. I know that face - every detail of it. I remember looking at it back then, studying her, trying to learn who she was, what she would be like, wondering if she would even like me.

She did - she loved me fervently and still does! That girl taught me what love is and how to love and what needing love feels like. Motherhood the first time was hard. Very hard. It was not what I expected. She was not what I expected - after nearly 20 years of dreaming about her. But she grabbed hold of me and did not give up on her very inept mother. Before she came to me, I asked God to prepare her heart for the changes in her life, but I never asked him to prepare mine - he had prepared hers enough for mine as well. I asked him for patience, and through becoming a mother, he taught it to me. Seeing who she has become and is becoming, brings me to tears - of joy. She is smart, intuitive, creative, ambitious, thoughtful, and deep. She loves learning, seeking answers, and excels in karate, gymnastics, chess and cheerleading. She is not scared of performing, singing, making toasts at weddings and trying new things. Sometimes she makes observations of a child twice her age. Sophia is an amazing person - in her own right - and I am so proud that I am privileged to be her mother.

So, yes, my children own my heart. I can not imagine my life without them.

Oh yeah, and Noah is not alone in finding love early .....

Lord have mercy!


  1. Well, Stephanie, you're two for two with me. Two posts, and two times my eyes are welling up. I'm so glad to have met the kids back in the Spring, and I sure look forward to seeing them, and you and Brian sometime soon. Keep your blog juices flowing, and don't get discouraged if it seems no one is reading. It takes a while. Love-


  2. OK...that was just incredible..I sit here crying my eyes out! I am so happy for you and your family..those children are SO blessed to have such wonderful and loving parents.